you didn’t come
October 26, 2004
you didn’t come back for me………….
52 hours
October 24, 2004
52 hours, to the minute. you were here, then just like that -you were gone. I’ve been trying to remember the week before…..what we did, what we talked about, where we went……. we cleaned out the Suburban that Friday. Why is that the only thing I remember? Hating myself for not noticing more, hearing more, -minutes, hours, slipped by me and I had no idea they were such a precious and rare commodity. Love you baby- miss you more everyday if that’s possible. I miss you so much today I can’t imagine missing you more than I do right now. Then tomorrow comes………….and I miss you even more.
hey God-
October 16, 2004
hey God- my grandpa has a doctor’s appt. today. Please make it go by quickly, painlessly, and let the test results be good news. Please….he’s the only daddy Hannah has now- only daddy me and my mom have too. We love and need him here. You have my dad and my husband on that side – we really really need my grandpa here. ok?
clinically speaking
October 12, 2004
will anything ever feel normal again? or will I always feel like I’m in exile, waiting for you to return so life can start again. I’m doing all the things everyone says I should be doing….finally got the house completely unpacked, pictures hung, -now it feels empty because no boxes stacked around. thought it was supposed to feel more like home. I don’t understand….same pictures, same furniture – when it was in our house it felt like a home. here it’s a house with furniture. almost clinical. I’m never gonna get passed this am I Rick? like it’s always been- waiting on you……….
