doesn’t mean forever

click to play…..

I’ve posted this song before. Rick ’sent’ it to me at the stroke of midnight, my first New Year’s Eve after the pursuit. Woke up with him and it on my mind this morning.

because I believe.

a shared addiction

When Rick and I first met he didn’t have any interest in garage/estate sales or auctions. Antiques either for that matter. me, I was an addict. The first sale I talked him into was a big estate sale. Everything in every room of the house, the garage, and a couple out-buildings was for sale. We wandered in different directions, didn’t seem like it had been long when I looked at my watch and realized we’d been there for over an hour. I freaked (omg- Rick’s gonna kill me—-if he hasn’t already left) A few walk-thru’s of the house and garage, no Rick-  I’d almost given up when I overheard “out-buildings”. (maybe I’ll find him out there) 

keep in mind Rick had attended this sale under diress.

I made my way to the back yard where there was a little white building against the back fence. (can’t be in there – buildings too small to hold enough stuff to keep someone’s attention as long as he’d been MIA) 

I poked my head in for a glance-

“Rick,” no answer, but the butt and elbows sticking out of the box in the middle of the room looked like his, “Rick…?”

He popped his head up, “..hey there you are. look at this- check this out?! isn’t this cool?!! and ——–” huge grin and so excited about his ‘loot’ he couldn’t get all the words out fast enough. 

Was 2 hours later before I managed to get him and all his stuff out of there.

and so it began… every week thereafter would find us Thursday, Friday, and Saturday mornings- 5-6am armed with garage sale classified ads, city map, and flashlights (because if you’re hard core, you know some estate sales take place where the utilities have been shut off).

miss him so much. especially on days like today when I know there’s good
sales happenin’ – we would have been having a blast right now.

 

the pics I posted of my room a few days ago. There’s one thing I thought deserved it’s own entry and that’s where I was going with this but it got kinda long so I’ll post the pic and story seperately from this.  ….stay tuned.

stuffs heart back in chest

I almost forgot to renew the 2withspirit domain. Actually when I remembered it was due I thought it was due on the 17th (scream), luckily I was a day off and it’s today. omg- whew!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

on a seperate note, why do people in authority think said authority is an exemption from basic etiquette?

Comment posted by
at 1/1/0001 12:00:00 AM

because power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely

just mine

Rick wore glasses. I loved that because when he took them off to sleep at night, there was there was this little part of him that was just mine, that only I ever got to see…

Comment posted by
at 1/1/0001 12:00:00 AM

I love that..I can totally relate. Corbin wears glasses too and even though he doesn’t always wear them around the house, he wears them out of the house. While he looks beautiful in his glasses and turns many heads, though he says he doesn’t notice, there’s something vulnerable about him when he doesn’t have them on. Raw. Mine.

Thanks for sharing that. Your gentle reminders do help in the toughest times.

3D dilemma

(3D=real life)

The number of family and friends finding their way to 2withspirit is increasing…

 

I debated over writing this entry and have rewritten and edited it a dozen times because-

I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings- and I don’t want anyone to think this is directed to any one person -because it’s not. It’s coming from several different directions.

and

I don’t want to sound ungrateful or dismissive of those kind enough to offer concern and care about my well-being. Because I am grateful -and I do so very much appreciate that I’m cared about.

but (always has to be a but doesn’t there…   :s  )
This site- it’s where I leave thoughts that get too heavy to carry in the 3D world. Lately I find myself hesitating before I write- sometimes not writing at all because I know some entries will prompt 3D inquiries – therefore it doesn’t really get left here or it does but comes right back to me through those inquiries, thus forcing me to again carry what I left here. Lately I catch myself cringing when the phone rings or ducking down aisle 2 at the grocery store because a 3D inquiry is making it’s way down aisle 4. It throws me into isolation mode and when I isolate myself I fast slide back down to that dark place.

realizing how selfish this sounds and not liking myself very much for it – but my sanity’s barely hanging on and the temptation to let go right now is outweighing the desire to hold on.
I need ask a favor of my 3D family and friends… if it’s related to something you’ve read here, please inquire/ask, about it here. Comments here on the site (I love receiving comments) and emails are always always welcome.   I just need to seperate site stuff from 3D life stuff for awhile…til I get through this rough spot.   please?

thank you all for being here for me- aren’t words to adequately describe how much your support means to me.  just thank you.
love you all.
peace-out-
Cat

Comment posted by
at 1/1/0001 12:00:00 AM

Cat,
I truly understand where you are coming from, but remember YOUR wellness is most important now. Without you, your little girl will be in big trouble. Take care of yourself and stay healthy, both mentally and physically. When I am on Yahoo messenger, I am free to talk, so look me up
Ed

UPDATE-new email address

November 7

this morning I receive an email from Gmail, it includes a direct link to reset my password-

for the temporary account I set up yesterday.

——————–

$#@! Gmail bypassed the security question reset and locked me out of my email for “a few to 5 days”- at which time I’m supposed to “try again”.

so – in the meantime, please direct all emails to:

onegroovychic@gmail.com

if you emailed me today, please resend it to the above address.
thanks.

still here

just a note to say I’m still around- just haven’t had much to say. Recent comments left by Rick’s younger brother (who’s IP is now banned from the site) really pissed me off. Gone back and forth on if I should respond and decided not to -mainly because he’s a fucking lying theiving $#@! and I’m pissed off at myself for letting him get under my skin.
needed to step away from life for a few days -recenter- regroup.

Comment posted by
at 1/1/0001 12:00:00 AM

Sometimes you just need time to help you sort through your thoughts.

……..

……..

{exhale}

benign.

Comment posted by
at 1/1/0001 12:00:00 AM

thank God for that